2006 BlogBoringFailure Award – Ramblewords

Is this not the most boring blog in the world?

I’m bored enough to delete it me thinks.


Time for a fresh idea.

Something better than the United Fascist Union Idea.

That idea sucked.

Read up while you can, the Ramble as you know it is about to be smoked.

As in tonight. See you soon.

United Fascist Union Party Revisited And Renewed

Jack Grimes 2008

You guys may not remember, but almost 2 years ago we talked a lot about the United Fascist Union party. See these posts for the wonderful history:

United Fascist Union Party
Cofee, Cigarettes, and Supreme Fascist Dictators
Follow Ups And Observations

Jack Grimes gave us much wonderful material (with plenty left untapped), including gems such as this one:

“It is a little known fact that cigarettes and tobacco have nothing to do with cancer. What really causes cancer is a lack of oxygen. So if stopping cancer is your thing, go plant a tree. Trees disperse oxygen. Better yet, plant a tobacco plant which gives off oxygen too. Then you can fight cancer while you enjoy your new hobby, smoking cigarettes you grew yourself with your own tobacco plants””

Yes, you read that correctly, now read it again.

Done laughing yet?

Anyhow, his name has crossed the back of my mind several times recently and I’ve been wondering… what ever happened to Jack Grimes? His old page hasn’t been updated in a long time and it’s hard to determine wether or not he still exists.

Today I decided to track him down. Sure enough, he’s still around. This time he has a wonderfully redesigned tripod site that indicates he will in fact be running for president in 2008. Ye-Ah!

After painfully browsing through his new site, I determined that although he is a certifiable nutcase, he deserves a much more accessible podium to speak from. While the nation should not vote for him, the nation should at the very least know who he is.

Where am I going with this? I am going to mail Mr. Grimes a letter offering him a better opportunity to speak his mind. Hosting is cheap, domain names are cheap, he shouldn’t be pushing himself down by hosting his site on tripod. I will offer the following:

  • To host the official United Fascist Union Party website through the 2008 elections at Ramblewords.
  • To design a completely new format for Mr. Grimes in order to make his information more accessible to the world.
  • If he would like to register a proper domain name for his party, I will provide the hosting for this domain.

The only thing I will ask for in return is an honorary membership (without the monthly dues) to the United Fascist Union Party. This does not mean that I will vote for said party, just that I want to see what they send their new members.

Crazy? Yes. Fun? Absolutely. Good Material? We shall see. Got More Questions? No.

Give me a little bit of time to write up a proper* letter and I’ll post that when I send it. If you have suggestions or would also like to help, let me know.

*note how I used proper twice in this post… joy.

Jeremy’s Honey Mustard Chicken

Note: This was originally posted April 24th, 2005, but was lost in the great ramble disaster of 2006. It is now being revived.

Mmmm” honey mustard.

For some reason I got the urge to make this last night because I had never made my own honey mustard sauce, so I tossed version 1.0 together to see how it went. Definitely worth it.

The key seems to be in the mustard. The Jack Daniels mustards kick ass, very highly recommended. I went with the Stone Ground Dijon this time.

The honey should have been better than the generic crap that I was able to find, but we already finished the massive amount that my beekeeper neighbors gave us, so generic it was.

Anyway. Pour a massive amount of honey and a massive amount of mustard (about equal) into a bowl. Toss in sprinkles, pinches, and shakes of salt, basil, paprika, cinnamon, dill, and garlic salt. Stir, taste, stir, taste, add some of what you”re missing, stir, and taste.

Place chicken in bowl to soak in the beautiful goodness for about 15 minutes. While waiting, open up a Leinenkugel Honey Weiss and start chopping up garlic cloves and shallots. When done, get cooking.

Pour a generous amount of olive oil in a heavy skillet and turn the heat up high. Throw in the shallots and garlic and saute them. When ready, take a couple chicken breasts and place in the middle of the now wonderful smelling pan. Turn the heat down to medium and cook for a couple minutes. Flip the chicken over and cook the other side for a couple more. Then, turn the heat down low, low, low, and let each side sit for at least 5 more minutes a piece.

While that”s going on, make some salad or anything else you might want to mix up with it. Then, remove the chicken from the pan (don”t forget the wonderful pieces of garlic and onion), and place it on your plate. Add some salad, maybe a little extra honey mustard sauce and voila, you now have juicy, wonderful, and brilliant honey mustard chicken:

Red Paperclip Success

If you haven’t heard of it before, this guy set off on a mission last year to trade a red paperclip for a house. I never thought he’d be able to do it this quick, but he worked at it enough and finally got his house- which he will be painting red.

Please note: I have a penny that I am willing to traid for a condo if anyone is interested.

The Birthday That is Now, America’s Birthday It Is

230 years later and we’re dealing with this guy. How perfect is that. Now, I promised myself that I wouldn’t make this into a big political thing, so I won’t say anything more. We will let quotes and links to Wikipedia articles do the talking for me. It’s actually been a pretty decent history lesson so far this morning. I would recommend that you read a few of the links yourself. Enjoy.

First the quotes, all taken from random perusing through different fun stuffs on America.

    The American Republic will endure, until politicians realize they can bribe the people with their own money.

    Alexis de Tocqueville

    The great rule of conduct for us, in regard to foreign nations, is in extending our commercial relations, to have with them as little political connection as possible……

    …..Taking care always to keep ourselves, by suitable establishments, on a respectable defensive posture, we may safely trust to temporary alliances for extraordinary emergencies…..

    …..The duty of holding a neutral conduct may be inferred, without any thing more, from the obligation which justice and humanity impose on every nation, in cases in which it is free to act, to maintain inviolate the relations of peace and amity towards other nations.

    – George Washington (farewell address).

    Equal and exact justice to all men, of whatever state or persuasion, religious or political; peace, commerce, and honest friendship with all nations, entangling alliances with none; the support of the State governments in all their rights, as the most competent administrations for our domestic concerns and the surest bulwarks against antirepublican tendencies; the preservation of the General Government in its whole constitutional vigor, as the sheet anchor of our peace at home and safety abroad; a jealous care of the right of election by the people”a mild and safe corrective of abuses which are lopped by the sword of revolution where peaceable remedies are unprovided; absolute acquiescence in the decisions of the majority, the vital principle of republics, from which is no appeal but to force, the vital principle and immediate parent of despotism; a well disciplined militia, our best reliance in peace and for the first moments of war, till regulars may relieve them; the supremacy of the civil over the military authority; economy in the public expense, that labor may be lightly burthened; the honest payment of our debts and sacred preservation of the public faith; encouragement of agriculture, and of commerce as its handmaid; the diffusion of information and arraignment of all abuses at the bar of the public reason; freedom of religion; freedom of the press, and freedom of person under the protection of the habeas corpus, and trial by juries impartially selected.

    – Thomas Jefferson (Inaugural Address)

    In the field of world policy I would dedicate this Nation to the policy of the good neighbor ” the neighbor who resolutely respects himself and, because he does so, respects the rights of others ” the neighbor who respects his obligations and respects the sanctity of his agreements in and with a world of neighbors.

    – Franklin Roosevelt (Inaugural Address)

And then the ideas that we have associated ourselves with, be it good or bad.

And finally, we should allow ourselves to put our 230 years of experience into a worldwide perspective.

If that doesn’t work for you, think of it this way– I’m 26 years old and I’ve lived through more than a tenth of US (political) history. There are people alive who have seen close to half.

Irk, commentary trying to spit through…. not today. Today I leave you with a cartoon, “Ten Thousand Miles From Tip to Tip” from 1898. Things weren’t too different then, were they?

The Birthday That is Now, Our Birthday It Is

    Happy Birthday to Ramble
    Happy Birthday to Words
    Happy Birthday to Ramble
    Happy Birthday Ramblewords…..


We’re definitely 2 years brilliant right now. And to commemorate this wonderfulness by spelling commemorate correctly on the first try, I’d like to direct you to our brand spanking new about page.

Oh yeah, and there’s a birthday message from somebody else besides Jesus:

I love you Rummy! I really do. Rumsfeld for President – 2008, let’s get it started!!!! Yeah baby, keep doing what you do.

I got you Don.

Ha ha.

It’s a ramble birthday and I’ll make no sense if I want to, no sense if I want to.

Ok, I’ll stop now.