Don’t You Know That You’re a Shining Star

Oh Crap!!! I was wrong, Ashlee Simpson is a giantess!!! I didn’t believe it until I got stuck hanging from that tassel during the most craptacular Orange Bowl performance ever. Tell me you didn’t see it…

You didn’t? Well, here you go.

It must suck to get ripped on for not singing (SNL), and then turn around and get ripped on for singing only because everyone now knows that you’re awful. Maybe she decided to stop following her sisters career path and head down the new Britney Spears road. Bad vocals sell pop records, don’t ya know.

On a side note, who at the Orange Bowl decided it would be a good idea to invite Ashlee anyhow? Take this from the official Orange Bowl website:

Joining the artists as part of the choreography are 3,000 dancers, with over 1,000 youth participants hailing from local South Florida dance studios. To find the dancers, the Orange Bowl Committee held dance auditions during its PATCH Parties at various South Florida nightclubs, Orange Bowl Youth Football parks and local South Florida Dance Studios.

Those 3000 dancers probably worked their asses off for weeks before the half-time show. You would think that the PR drones would be able to predict disaster after Ashlee’s performance on SNL and instead invite somebody that would make everyone feel good about dancing around the field for a few minutes in front of 72,000 people. Instead, 3000 people probably wanted to jump her backstage for doing that to them. Ahh, the brilliant careers of the Simpson sisters… wonderful.

This has been brought to you by the organization of people who wonder “why the heck are people searching for a giant Ashlee Simpson and ending up here???”

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