Coffee, Cigarettes, and Supreme Fascist Dictators

I decided that the Jack Grimes (United Fascist Union) post from Tuesday deserved a follow up. Especially after a couple searches turned up some videos in which he explains his campaign platform.

From the first video on that page, “Pheonix: Up From The Ashes“, we get this priceless gem:

“It is a little known fact that cigarettes and tobacco have nothing to do with cancer. What really causes cancer is a lack of oxygen. So if stopping cancer is your thing, go plant a tree. Trees disperse oxygen. Better yet, plant a tobacco plant which gives off oxygen too. Then you can fight cancer while you enjoy your new hobby, smoking cigarettes you grew yourself with your own tobacco plants…”

At this point, he lights a cigarette and continues to speak. The smoking gets in the way though because he puts more emphasis on the fact that he’s puffing away and less on the fact that he’s still trying to relay his message.

Also at this point, the 5 or 6 people watching the video with me were rolling on the ground laughing.

I’m in the process of downloading his 2000 campaign platform speech to see if he has “flip-flopped” on any key issues. From what is sounds like so far, he’s been pretty consistent on everything from the “Nazi Grey Aliens” at Roswell to the use of coal as an alternative fuel source.

Vote UFU 2004

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